Chicks, not Chickens

I fucking love chicken fingers. Here's a good example of how they affect my life. One beautiful Friday morning in front of the dining hall where they serve chicken fingers every Friday, I encountered an enthusiastic girl I sang with in chorus.

Girl: Hi, Joe!

Joe: Hi, (girl)!

Girl: I am SO EXCITED

Joe: ME TOO. I'VE BEEN WAITING ALL WEEK!!!

Girl: I KNOW!

Joe: What dipping sauces do you usually get?

Girl: wut.

Apparently there was a chorus concert that day or some shit. Anyways, here are a few reasons why chicken fingers are the best:

1. No Bones. Things with bones are fucking stupid!! Like dinosaurs!

fuck reading! I want me some chicken fingers!

2. They make vegetables taste good: I'm serious! Have you ever eaten lettuce? it's gross! But pair some lettuce with a chicken finger, and it's like it isn't even there!

3. Diversity: They come in all shapes, sizes, and colors! You have them gently fried or very crispy, long and thin to circular like chicken nuggets. Yay, diversity!

chicken fingers are color-blind

Here is how I usually make chicken fingers and a sauce I usually make with it. I just needed to express my love for the chicken finger.

Ingredients:

-Boneless chicken breasts, cut into strips OR you can just get chicken tenders pre-cut for you

-1/4 cup of milk

-1/4 cup of flour

-1 tablespoon cornstarch

-1/2 cup of cornflakes

-1/2 cup of panko bread crumbs (these are japanese style-bread crumbs and they're really flaky and nice)

-1 Egg

-Salt and pepper and whatever seasonings you want (I usually like 7 flavor chili powder) One other seasoning is probably best.

Preheat that shit to 400 degrees (I found that 375 is good for softer insides but you sacrifice the crunch on the surface. Your call, bros), or heat up some oil on high. Caution: hot oil is dangerous lol

First take the cornflakes and crush the shit out of them with your hands or a hammer or whatever. The easiest way I've found is to put them in a ziploc bag and sit on them, letting my weight crush them. Submiss them to your liking but if you're going to fry, then make sure the crumbs are very fine.

Take your chicken and cut them up into strips. The more even they are, the less you have to worry about being salmonella'd by a particularly big chunk that didn't get enough love. Season them with salt and pepper. You can marinate them for an hour in whatever marinade you like (My basic Asian marinade is really just white sugar, honey, soy sauce, sesame oil, and ground ginger) but these are fucking chicken fingers not thanksgiving dinner.

Crack the egg and beat it until it becomes that nice orange beaten color. Add the milk. This is your adhesive.Then sift the flour and cornstarch together. Starch is amazing. Also, take your crushed up cornflakes and then mix them in with the panko bread crumbs. Keep a clean workspace!

Then take a chicken finger, roll it around in the flour/cornstarch until they are lightly covered and then dip it in the egg and milk mixture. Quickly transfer to your crumb mixture (it is easiest to have this on a tray or something) and then cover them in delicious crumbs. Repeat with all the chickens.

Now, you can FRY or BAKE! Bake is at 400 degrees for crispiness, 375 for chicken juiciness. There is actually a big trade-off between these two types so choose wisely. 10-12 minutes for 400 degrees, a 17-20 minutes for 375.

Or you can FRY, which is really the best and should be the only option. Heat up a pan of oil (if you don't feel comfortable deep-frying, that's okay. Just have enough oil that you can cook half of the finger at a time. Heat it until a bit of breadcrumb dropped into it will start sizzling in that beautiful frying way. And then Add in 3-4 chicken fingers at a time (crowding the pan will reduce the heat) and then cook in there until GOLDEN BROWN. I usually estimate estimated time of completion at this point, but always by the time you get that nice brown color all round then they're definitely done.

Put them on a plate with a paper towel to let them drain.

Here is my favorite sauce to go along with this stuff:

1 Tbsp of BBQ Sauce

1 Tbsp of Ketchup

1 Tbsp of Soy Sauce

1/2 Tbsp of sugar

1/2 tbsp honey

Warning: The sauce is Asian